There have been times in our life where we need to step back and look at ourselves and ask what is our purpose in this moment.   In this moment, I am being led to follow an old dream of becoming a certified counselor to help others out of trauma and PTSD due to abusive situations.   I recently graduated with my B.A. in Psychology with an emphasis in Mental Health and now I am fully engaged in my Master of Science in Clinical Mental Health degree with an emphasis in Trauma and Christian Counseling.  

My story of Intimate Partner Abuse (IPA), Intimate Partner Violence (IPV), codependency, depression and suicidal idealization has allowed me to understand others in similar situations.  I have a deeper understanding of the stigma of mental health and how this affects men on a deeper level of community connections.  I truly understand the fear of sharing the story of abuse, the fear of not being believed or understood, the abandonment and manipulation of others, and the stigma of traditional views of the male being only the abuser-not the victim.  Through my journey I rebelled against God partly because of my belief of him allowing this abuse to happen to me.   I nearly walked away from his grace and loving mercy.   I have since realized that he was always with me, and that it was the choice of that trusted partner to be abusive, and that it was my brokenness,my codependency, my fear of sharing my story that allowed me to endure it.

Through a new walk with God and surrendering my life to him I have found a new path to follow that is now free of the hurts, hang-ups, and habit of my codependency, of my choices to move into a broken relationship with broken people.   It is often heard "Hurt people, hurt people"- I was certainly a receiver of this and being a broken and hurt person myself I have had to make my amends for those I hurt as well.  I am now free to look at my own story, sit with my own hurts, and rewrite my story of abuse.  This site is designed to offer others an opportunity to share in my story, maybe find a nugget of hope, a mustard seed let's say, and begin their own journey of recovery.   

I have found my strength in Celebrate Recovery, a faith based recovery program.  If you want to know more please look at the Celebrate Recovery page for more information.  As you read through some of the lessons I teach at my local CR you will find that I use a lot of resources and excepts, parts of my story, and lessons from the CR national team,  these are meant for the sole purpose of the teaching and I give full credit to those sources.  I could not do many of the teaching without the support of my fellow wayfarers, research articles, and fellow writers.   I have shared my testimony at three CR churches at this point and hope to share at more.   I love the idea of sharing my story not because I love to talk about myself, but because our stories have the power to connect mankind, the power to break the stigma of mental health, and to to break the hold of the enemy over our lives.   

Michael Ivanov shares in his self published book The Mount of Olives the story of a young boy named Felix.   Felix is being mentored by a bookmaker in the times of Jesus and in the course of this story Ephraim instructed Felix to write his story.  Ephraim tells Felix "..Everyone's story is unique yet most people bury theirs because they are ashamed of it, they do not realize the power in it.  They fear being different, and with that, they surrender their experience." Felix like many of use sat and looked at a blank piece of paper and was scared to open ourselves up becasue of the fear of being vulnerable, the fear of yet another rejection, the fear of retaliation.  Ephraim continued to tell Felix "Many people have become slaves to destructive thought, but it is your perspective and your journey to victory,  out of defeat, that can change their lives."